Helpless

A rough day. Emily's depression isn't lifting and both feet, knee's and her hand all hurt so much that she can't even tolerate a sheet. I took a quick picture of her earlier to help make people aware that despite everything I do and every medication I give there is absolutely nothing I can do to make this stop and that in a nutshell is RSD.

Why couldn't this have been me?

Pain

I ended up sleeping in with Emily last night because she just couldn't settle, the pain is now in Emily's feet, knees, back and arms and she's very depressed. Maybe we did to much to soon? Maybe in our quest for a normal life we over did it. RSD is so cruel because some days you can cope with the pain better than others so you push yourself to do a little more and ultimately pay the price. I watched Emily walk to the end of the pier on Saturday with her fishing pole in her hand and I wondered how long she should be out. After an hour I asked her to come back to the room and take a nap but she begged me to let her stay and fish so I did.

On the one hand as a parent with a child with RSD I have to push Emily to live as normal a life as possible. I have to encourage her to push past the pain and continue to get up for school and to do physical therapy even when she really just wants to hide in bed. I also have to know when enough is enough it's time to call it a day and take a nap. I clearly have a lot to learn.

For now Emily is with her brother watching a movie and eating air popped popcorn. I'm going to blow up the airbed so that they can hang out together tonight and have a movie marathon. I have 5 solid days of work then I get to start our summer vacation and finish painting the living room. I think having fresh colours around us will make a world of difference.

Home again

We're home. It took almost 7 hours to drive back but we made in one piece. Overall we had a good trip. On Friday we drove from our home in Fort Worth to Houston. We had a great trip down, we sang and ate ring pops and overall Emily did pretty well. We visited friends and ate at Ihop and at Auntie Chang's dumpling house. I opted not to take the wheelchair partly because I wanted Emily to feel like her old self and partly because my car is so small. Now the brace has been altered she can wear it for up to an hour without it rubbing so we took advantage of that. We bought a queen sized air bed and "slept" on that together on Friday night. What with Emily's uncomfortable foot on one side and a hot and sticky son on the other not much sleep was had by me!

Saturday it poured with rain so we stayed in Houston until early evening then drove the 3 hours to Rockport. Rockport is a little town on the gulf, it has fish and pelicans, old people and a new Starbucks!!! The air was fresh and salty and dare I say it ... relaxing! You couldn't keep Emily off the pier. It was 1000 feet long and jutted out into the ocean. Ms Emily fished from it everyday and even managed to catch 10 fish!

We hung out with family, ate fresh shrimp, played games, looked at the shell shops but most of all enjoyed a small amount of normality. I taught Emily to swim with her brace on and she managed to swim a length without drowning or putting her foot down, we were elated!

On day 1 Emily's pain wasn't to bad by her standards (a 7/10) but on day 2 her pain level went up and she started getting shooting pains in her other foot. 3 toes from the big one down now can't be touched due to shooting pain. Despite our best efforts to keep the pain away it was always in the background. I guess I'm still in denial, I didn't think I was because I actually thought that with something else to focus on Emily would be virtually pain free. Day 4 and it hit Emily like a brick wall, she could hardly get out of bed. Her pain never really came down from a 9/10 for the whole day and she was withdrawn. Last night her pain was intense and made worse because even though I don't want to say it out loud it looks like the RSD may have spread to Emily's other foot. Emily is scared and feels very anxious about this obviously! Panic fills me when I think about it so I can only imagine how Emily feels. No amount of reassurance helps because we all know it's the silent Elephant in the room waiting to trumpet.

Help needed

http://www.british-emporium.com/

Log on here and click the link to Monty Python Charity Event. We need walkers and help for the day.

These people are totally amazing, I want to help them as much as I can so pull on your shoes and lets go and do some "silly" walking.

Vacation :)

Last day of school and it's time for us all to take a breath and relax. Tomorrow I'm heading to Houston for the night and then Saturday we drive to Rockport for a family vacation. It's been a year since we visited family and we are excited to see everyone. Emily and Tom will be able to fish until all hours of the day and night on a 1000 ft pier. Last year we saw a giant turtle and a porpus it was pretty cool. I'm looking forward to it but am a little concerned about how we'll manage Emily's pain while we're away. Her usual weekend routine means spending the Saturday with her best friend Andy (Andrea) then spending Sunday virtually unable to move so I'm not sure if she'll cope with 4 days away. As always I'll embrace it with a positive mind, we'll just have to take it as it comes. Mixing with a lot of people will be my challenge, I'm very introvert these days.

Medication

This is a weeks supply of medication. 6 months ago I rarely gave Motrin to my children and they ate tons of organic food. Things are a little different today ...

Woops

Today I accidentally hit on my friends girlfriend via Text message LOL It was purely an accident but funny and embarrassing at the same time. Thankfully although extremely confused she took it well. I really wasn't hitting on anyone just chatting to an English friend and Renee at the same time and I'm not sure who was more confused, I think it may have been me LOL

Emily had play therapy today. She was very frustrated by the skate party yesterday and about her condition in general so this therapy is very useful. I think sometimes it's good to have a safe place away from everyone where you are free to say what you feel and think without fear of judgement. Mandy doesn't try to make Emily feel better she just tries to give Emily the tools to help herself and an outlet for her anger and frustration. Emily (who went in wearing her AFO) today came out looking much more relaxed.

Last day of school tomorrow, thank goodness!!!

This is how Emily walks

Emily's AFO and AFO shoes

Day 3 of school

One more day left of school. It doesn't seem like an entire school year has passed already. I can honestly say that I will happily put this year behind me and mark it down as a disaster. I got a politically correct email from the principal which I responded to but I have no energy to deal with that stuff right now. I think I my stress level peaked this week so I'm trying to focus on the stuff I can control. My emails were clearly forwarded to Emily's teachers and I can tell from their faces that they are unhappy with what I said but I still feel that more should have been done for Emily. In reality both of Emily's teachers are Awesome and it's not their fault at all. Emily doesn't know about all of this happening behind the scenes but she can tell that her teachers are a "little off" towards her.

It was the skate party last night and Emily came home upset and frustrated. She used to LOVE to skate, watching the others zoom around was a little much for her. She was very depressed last night, lots of why me, when will and what ifs. I can't answer many and I try not to attempt to "rescue" or "fix" because I can't and it wont help in the long run so I wrapped her in a blanket and we watched TV together until midnight.

I took her in to get her AFO fixed on Monday and I'm happy to report that the reddening was reduced last night. She still got a little red patch above the old blister site but better than before. They just heated the plastic and pushed out the heal area. It's pretty clever.

Today we are back at Cooks for Play Therapy, this should help Emily a little today I hope! Darn it I think I need some play therapy!

Mirror Therapy

http://www.mirrorboxtherapy.com/mirror-theory.htm

A special lady sent me the link to a website about mirror therapy. It sounds nutty but it actually makes sense. I'm going to make one, it can't be that hard!

Looking better

When the going gets tough, the tough paint their fireplace!

Emily last year

The mosaic I created with Emily's class early last year.

A little to much ...

I picked Emily up from school at 2:00 with Tom so that we could go and see Shrek together before the crowds hit. I'd slapped on some make up and bought ring pops for the 3 of us to munch on. Tom's got me addicted to the cotton candy ones. I'm sure my dentist will slap me when I go for my check up next week.

Emily was disappointed about the lack of effort made today, she was also sad that she wasn't included in the award ceremony. I never told her that I was so furious and frustrated that I had to take a serious amount of antacid to stop my stomach acid from dissolving my entire esophagus, can't push my thoughts onto her like that so I try to be really careful. By the time I picked her up I'd dried my eyes and carefully applied just the right amount of make up as to not make her suspicious. We touched on the subject just briefly, I told her I was sorry, reminded her that the only person we are truly in control of is ourselves then moved on. She was so happy to see her friends again and to be back in her old world so I put the focus on that rather than on this stupidity. Things don't always go the way you hope so the only thing you can do is take a breath and move on.

A very long day ...

I had a "I'm sorry that this happened" email from the school but it's really not OK. I responded with this ...


I'm so tired of making excuses for everyone. You and I were never going to meet with Emily present today, the meeting was to discuss her future and you and I both know that some things are not for her ears. We spoke at 12:07 yesterday. That gave you over 3 hours to walk the 300 yards to Emily's class and announce that she was coming back today. 3 hours for a scrap of paper to be passed around the class to be signed and 3 hours to get her desk set.

It would have taken 2 minutes to let me know that the awards ceremony was last week. It would have taken me 10 minutes to make a special award for the 3 kids that had major surgery this school year in Emily's class and 5 minutes for me to drop them off. It would have taken a smart person 2 seconds to realize that with 2 disabled children in class and 1 child recovering from foot surgery a skate party was ridiculous.

It would have taken you less time than it's taken me to type this email for you to fulfil my simple request which would in turn have helped make a small child feel welcome and like her battle meant something to more than just me.

You have 1000 children but only a handful with problems like Emily. My wish for you is that you learn from my constant battle so that maybe, just maybe you won't make this mistake again with another child, another family. For Emily the smallest gesture would have done. To have this taken care of smoothly and to have the school help Emily return to school quickly, safely and in an organized manner would have taken away some of the burden I carry everyday. To make families fight when they are already fighting to regain some control in their lives is inexcusable because the stress is indescribable.

It took me 3 months and over $1000 of my family's money to create that beautiful mosaic that you walk past everyday. I hope from now when you see it you remember that Chisholm let my daughter down.

I pray that you never find yourself in my position ...

Funnily enough I didn't get a reply.

An email to school

I was going to type a post about school today but instead I pasted an email that I just sent to her school.




I can describe how I feel right now using lots of words, none of them good. I decided not to come into the office today because I am so furious I can't trust myself to speak.

Emily got up at 5:30 am today so that she could be ready for school. Getting ready involves taking several different medications, catheterizing, washing and dressing while waiting for the pain medication to kick in. She had to force food down which is difficult for her so early but it has to be done to save her stomach from the harsh effects of the many drugs that she takes just to function. She was so excited to see everyone that she could hardly contain herself as I wheeled her into her classroom.

No welcome back anything! Her belongings still in bags in an unknown place despite my specific request that her locker be returned to her and her books be back in her desk so that she wouldn't feel alienated. Immediately on entering several children said, "Wow Emily, we thought you were gone for good, no one told us you were coming back" My urge to cry at this point was so strong that It took all that I had to stop myself because if the kids didn't know that she was coming back then no banner was made, no card, no discussion with the class about her foot, nothing. I asked Ms ****** if they had control over Emily's day today and she looked at me like she was confused. She didn't have a clue what I was talking about. She quickly said "No PE right and she's in band" (we discussed no band and modified PE yesterday yet today they are clueless) I asked the plan for next week and requested that any notes get sent home if any activities are planned for next week. I was told that they had a skating party next Tuesday evening (a skating party when you have 2 disabled kids in class, great choice!) and that "oh, by the way we did awards already, that was the other night". The awards were done with no thought of Emily. She was registered at your school, you knew she was coming back and yet she wasn't included. No one thought to tell us. The look on Emily's face as I left will stay with me all day. I really feel like returning to your school and snatching her out because you don't deserve to have her there.

Did you even go and talk to the teachers? When I left Emily today she hadn't got a place to sit. She had none of her school stuff. The awards had been done, no modification had been done to her timetable. Nothing on her desk that said "welcome back", no desk! Now, her teacher was not present in the class when I took Emily in so I hope to God that I am wrong. However judging by the kids and Ms ****** reaction I know that this unlikely to be the case.

I don't expect the world to stop. I don't expect much from anyone anymore. But what I did expect was that my requests had been listened to and that Emily would feel welcomed back today.

As you know Emily is currently in the nurses office. I just spoke with her on the phone and she told me how disappointed she feels that no one seems to care that she's back in her classroom. I asked what they did to welcome her back and as I suspected the answer was nothing. What a terrible shame ...



Despite my urge to drive to the school now and remove my daughter I'm going to leeave her there. I don't want to push my thoughts onto her for any reason so I'm going to pick her up as planned at 2:00 pm. I am however going to get Tom first and we're going to see Shrek. I'm going to give them a "congratulations on returning to school" treat. Now excuse me while I go and take something for my stomach acid, I swear this is going to give me an ulcer.

My big crash

Ok, so we knew it was coming. I woke up yesterday morning and felt like I'd been hit by a bus. I know that you can only run your body on fumes for so long before it decides not to work anymore so I decided to give in to it and went back to bed. Today I stayed in bed for much of the day and only got up when I really had to. Just walking from one end of the house to the other wore me out! I feel absolutely drained ...

An update

The sore on Emily's ankle is getting worse so she is totally unable to wear her brace. I spoke to Alan the brace guy yesterday and he said that whatever we do she'll always have an area of reddening because she has something against her foot. This being the case how will the brace work long term? We go to see Alan tomorrow and he's going to take a look for me to see if we can do anything to stop Emily's foot pistoning. He said that Em's foot is trying to lift out of the brace every time she takes a step and therefore causing that rubbed area. Kelly our PT mentioned putting a hinge on the brace for more mobility so I may suggest that. In the meantime Emily is back in her wheelchair out of the house.

Emily attends play therapy each Monday at the hospital. This involves acting out feelings through play and so far has been quite fun. Yesterday was difficult for Emily because her therapist touched on a difficult subject and although it's great and needs to dealt with, for the whole day and evening Emily was very low. I know that we have to go backwards to go forwards and that this will help her in the long run.

I spoke with the school yesterday and found myself ranting! I clearly have just a tad of pent up aggression LOL! A plan was outlined that because Emily was currently in her wheelchair she could return to school today pending an email from the vice Principal confirming Emily's teachers wishes. No email ... no school.

I have several debt collectors calling me for medical fees but one in particular is hounding me for $114. $114!! I told him yesterday when he called again that I would love to pay but that he'd have to join the line. I tried to remind him that this was a medical fee for my sick little girl and not my bill for Twinkies, he didn't get it LOL

I'm tired. Tom (age 9) asked me why I had dark shadows under my eyes yesterday. I told him that sleeping is a bit of a problem for me right now so he offered me his bed and told me I could use it anytime. The truth is that Emily sleeps for maybe 4 hours a night if I'm lucky and although I try to go to bed before she's fully asleep I can't rest until I know she's sleeping. I've tried, honestly. 6 months into this and I'm exhausted. I know my body can't go on like this for much longer but for now it's the best I can do. I have bills to pay, emails to return (sorry everyone), my desk to clear and the house looks really scary, it's all mounting up. I need a vacation ...

A Guardian angel

From one special girl to another, THANK YOU CHERYL!!

A message from Emily.

Miss Cheryl, Thank you for making a car show for me and my family. You are a very special lady!

Emily's car show

Benefit for Emily

Come join the fun!

Car Show
Sept. 16th. 2007- 2:00 PM to 6:00 PM
Rain date: Sept. 23rd 2007

5930 Overton Ridge Blvd. Fort Worth, TX 76133
(817) 292-0078

$15.00 early Registration fee
$20.00 day of show,
Registration closes at 4:00 p.m.

Lot’s of fun for the whole family!
Live DJ – Doo Wopp Doug
Oldies Music – Original Vinyl

Cheryl Wright 817-270-1007 - cheryl0614@gmail.com

Silent Auction! Concession Stand! Door Prizes!
50/50 POT!
“First and Second place awards in each class”
17 Classes: T-Bucket & Roadsters, Pre 50’s, 50’s cars, 60’s cars, 70’s cars, 80’s & up cars, Motorcycles, Under Construction, Pre 60’s trucks, 60’s trucks, 70’s trucks, 80’s & up
Trucks, Young gun’s, Imports, Special Interest, & Stereo class. There will be one award for Best of show, Car, Truck, Motorcycle, Sponsors choice & Emily’s choice.

Slate the puppy

Emily finally fell asleep around 4:30 am and I crawled into bed shortly after. When I woke her this morning she was sleeping with no sock on and her whole left leg (RSD leg) hanging out of the quilt. Her foot was swollen and painful to touch. She describes it like a scald. She says it feels like her foot has been dunked in boiling water over and over again. Some people think that this disease is imaginary, I've heard it more than once from people who just don't understand. I wish they could have seen her today I think they would have had a change of heart.

Early on in the disease people with RSD often get looked at psychologically and some even get told that this is an attention thing. Praise and punish you're told and then the physical signs start to arrive. First the temperature difference, it's just subtle to start then the mottled skin. Yellow toe nails follow then contracture of the toes, on and on it goes ... Add this to the chronic pain and you have quite a combination!

Today was a better day. Emily still has the little pressure sore on her ankle but with the help of some band aids provided by a special friend she could wear her brace to subway for lunch. It makes her happy when she can walk. The guys in subway were so happy to see her, it's been 6 weeks since we last had lunch there and before that it was at least 3 times a week. Today they bought MY lunch! I think I looked so bad they felt sorry for me. I have to start taking better care of myself. After lunch Emily was pretty happy so we went to Home Depot where we met a really cool guy with a 7 week old Puppy. Oh my goodness this puppy was gorgeous and he snuggled up in Emily's lap for about 20 minutes. His owner was so incredibly nice I could tell he made Emily's day actually he made mine too because I just love seeing Emily laugh.

She's a great cook!

What is RSD?

I know we've touched on this before but several people have asked me recently what RSD is. Please click the RSD link to my right and take a look.

School

There was Emily tonight supporting her school and where are the school? Are they behind her? Hell no! They can't even make a safe environment for Emily so that she can go back to school. It's been almost 3 weeks since Emily came home and still they sit on their hands. At one point the Principal stood 2 feet away and totally ignored us and this wasn't lost on Emily. She turned to me and said " the sad thing is that I'm old enough to know what my principal just did and that really hurt my feelings". My son's school did a whole page dedication in the year book for a little boy who had a car accident earlier this year and like Emily had to learn to walk again. Emily's school did nothing. No banner, no "you go girl", no kind words from the principal or councelor during her month in hospital. I know she saw us, I also know she saw us last Friday when we dropped off paperwork. She couldn't get into her room fast enough. Shame on her.

My daughter has a disability and I know my rights. I also know that Keller ISD has the worst track record for this type of situation and that this " No child gets left behind" policy is totally BS. A suggestion was made that I home school Emily but I refuse. A huge component of Emily's recovery is to go and mix with her peers in a setting away from home. With the correct drug combination and help from the school to ensure that she doesn't get a pressure sore, I see no reason why she be just like any other kid. Obviously we'll have to modify gym for her and make sure that she gets safely to lunch and other classes but that shouldn't be that hard. The school is obligated to do this by law.

I am so tired. I'm tired of always having to fight to get anywhere. To this day it amazes me that people know what we've been through over the last 6 months and yet they still try to make my life as hard as possible. Maybe what they fail to understand is that with every hurdle I have become stronger and I am not done yet, I still have plenty of fight left in me.

Another week full of ups and downs.

This week has been like most of the others since Emily was injured. Up one day down the next. Early in the week we had a special visitor that made our day and Emily had a blast. Our visitor stayed the night so Emily stayed in Tom's room overnight, she always finds this comforting but I have to limit it to Friday and Saturday because Tom needs his sleep and as I have already said Ms Emily burns the midnight oil. The following day Emily woke up groggy and stiff.

Wednesday was my Birthday and our monthly DFWMAS meeting. For the first hour Emily did wonderfully. She walked around happily delighted to show everyone that she was out of her wheelchair. At the half way point I could see her face change from happy to serious, I could tell she was in pain so we slipped off her brace and shoe. This week a small pressure mark has appeared on her heel so we have to take the AFO off more often and for most if the week she's had it off completely. I can tell her disappointment at not being able to wear it because with that sore came the reality that her mobility is dependant on a large plastic brace. By the end of the meeting Emily had to be carried to the car and by midnight you could tell she was in full flare up. Her foot was on fire and it has filled with fluid again.

Today I planned a quiet day. I wrapped her in a blanket and we watched little Miss Sunshine again. She loves this movie and I know she enjoyed the change of pace. I cooked fresh pizza for lunch and she sat curled up next to me for several hours.

Tonight was her school talent show and Emily wanted to attend. She was very pale and serious looking but never the less felt like she wanted to go. Several of her friends were performing (they were fantastic!) so she wanted to show support. I could tell the noise was to much for her but she never complained. I helped cover her ears discreetly so's not to make the performers think that she was drowning their singing and made a mental note to carry earplugs next time.

I'm proud that she gets herself up when sometimes she feels like laying down and letting this disease absorb her and I'm proud that she tries to stay positive no matter what. Mostly I'm proud because no matter how much she hurts, no matter how bad she feels, she always has room in her heart for others. That's what makes her so totally wonderful and a blessing to have around.

Tonight she's still awake. We've chased the pain all day and it hit hard at about 10 pm. It's 2 am now and she's sitting in her bed doing a sponge bob crossword puzzle. We gave up on sleep a while ago because she was getting distressed. I can't be in there all the time because physically I can't always be with her 24 hours a day and in order to give her back her old life I have to teach her how to push that pain to the side. I go in every 30 minutes or so to make sure she hasn't gone over a 10 on the pain scale and that my help isn't required. I just peep in without her seeing me and I can tell just by her sound, position and movement what number she's on. I try to stay out for as long as possible even though it means that I have a very tight chest while I wait. Some nights she can settle herself down by 2 am and others it takes until about 4 to calm her enough to sleep.

Holland

It's hard for me to put into words how I feel. I try hard not to dwell on what's happened but there are days when I struggle. My view has always been to embrace what I have now and to try not to look back because you can't change the past. A wise lady posted this today on a thread for Emily on another message board and it totally echos how I feel.

Welcome To Holland copyright 1987, by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Sleep

Yesterday was pretty awful. I've learned to take each day as it comes with Emily. Some days are great and some are really bad. Yesterday Emily woke up tired and crabby. Sleeping has been a problem from day one with RSD and on average she gets maybe 4 hours per night. I thought being in hospital would help because they have a tight schedule for the kids. Up and ready for action by 8:30 am each day with no excuses with hard labour till 3:30 pm. A great day actually packed with tons to do so therefore you would think that Ms Emily would be out cold by 10 PM. Oh my goodness how wrong you are!! Every night she kept the nurses buzzing until way early in the morning. I think at first they thought I was exaggerating when I said that she doesn't sleep. They would look at me like I was insane! It didn't take many days for them to realize that I meant what I said, Emily can't sleep. Doctors have tried all kinds of drugs to make her sleep in an effort to let her body rest but so far nothing has really worked not even fresh air and exercise. I don't make a big deal out of it here at home, she still has a bedtime and I don't allow her to wander round the house at all hours. I also get her up early because I don't want to encourage her day to be upside down. We have relaxation tapes and books but nothing really does the trick.

Yesterday our day was a struggle from the start. Lots of pain and soreness from her bad foot made worse by the fact that the day before her foot just filled with fluid. A big fall over her cat Lila completed our day adding a sore knee and lots of tears. Sometimes you just have to start again. The great thing about life is that each day we get given a new chance at something better, a fresh start. We took a breath and started again today ...

Our first week home

Today marks the end of our first week at home, it's been quite a rollercoaster. Our stay in hospital meant a rise in pain and an increase in medication. I would prefer to treat Emily naturally but I know this is impossible right now but I can't have her on such high doses of pain medication. Medication isn't the answer for chronic pain sufferers so last week I began to reduce it.

I worked really hard before Em's hospital stay to create a regular medication schedule with the lowest dose possible and my plan is to get her back there as soon as I can without causing alarm or harm. I learned quite a bit from my hospital stay. I learned that you can make Physical therapy interesting and fun, I'm not a serious person at all but I took PT very seriously and maybe I took away the fun element just a little. I was so focussed on the goal and the horror of it all that it became tough. No more therapy in my living room (other than with Kelly her PT) now with me it's all outdoors! Today we modified our trip to the grocery store just a little. I didn't need to go really but I gave Emily a shopping list with several items on it all placed at opposite ends of the store. I pushed the cart as she collected the goodies, apples and bananas from one side, milk over the other etc etc until we had all 10 items. Emily walked the whole way with her brace and did beautifully.