Medication

When Emily sustained her nerve injury she was put on a medication called Gabapentin. This medicine is supposed to block the burning and shooting pains in her legs. Side effects from this medication includes rocking back and forth, very poor short term memory, visual disturbance and general goofy behaviour. I was given a choice by our first pain doctor, put her on high doses of this medication or have her in constant pain. 3 weeks after surgery Emily came home. 22 hours a day she cried ... she was pure white with black bags under her eyes and she rocked constantly. We couldn't touch her to comfort her, we couldn't do anything! When the medication reached 1500 mg per day combined with vicodin she finally settled into an uncomfortable daily routine. Work began on her foot drop and contracture and slowly her pain level dropped from a level 10 to a 7. She forgot simple things like who visited her, where a book or game came from. "Why do I have those balloons in my room?" "Where did they come from?" I learned quickly not to tell her that friends have bought them when they visited earlier or that I'd bought them 3 days before. She would panic if she couldn't remember so it wasn't worth putting her under that stress. From day 1 I have been uncomfortable with the medication Emily takes. Who knows what the long term effect will be. Faced with Emily being in agony or just forgetful and goofy obviously I made the choice to medicate.

The word goofy sounds weird when you use it to describe medication side effects but really the reality is that Emily has returned to acting as if she's or 5. One minute she can be Christmas morning happy then swing to deeply depressed as she tries to come to terms with her foot that just wont work. From day to day I have no clue how she'll be. I just have to stay consistently positive.

Simple things have been erased from Emily's memory. Multiplication and division have now become a real challenge and Emily knows now that she'll be held back this year at school because the prospect of putting her in 7th grade is a scary one. Kids show no mercy and she'll most likely go up in a special needs class so we've opted to keep her in the enviroment that she knows. Emily is blessed with amazing teachers. The support they have shown to both Emily and myself has been wonderful. They visited her during her bed rest and each day help her to work back into a "normal" routine.